Fighting
the High Gas Prices:
Hummer
to Introduce Hybrid Models
In an unpredicted
move, Hummer - the car manufacturer notoriously known for specializing
in gas guzzlers, has introduced a lineup of three hybrid
models, promising to cut on fuel expenses, and to possibly appease its many
critics, spearheaded by fuh2.com.
The first
new model, code named H2-CV, is based on the Hummer H2, but
instead of standard wheels it integrates four units of a
previous-generation powertrain, known world-wide as the Citroen 2CV (see image below).
Besides providing an
entire new meaning to the term 4x4, this innovative design enables the hybrid to deliver 40 miles per gallon
(about 40 times better than the original H2), thanks to the fact that the
vehicle is propelled by the small, efficient motors of the 2CV cars, while the
role of the original engine is limited to generating intimidating sound effects.
But
according to Hummer's general manager, Martin Walsh, there is more to
the new model than just gas savings. "Research has shown",
says Walsh, "that most owners of the H2 have an uncontrolled desire
to run over smaller vehicles. This innovation provides a
harmless outlet, by allowing them to literally run over four smaller vehicles at all
times.".
The
second hybrid model, dubbed HumWay, is the outcome of a joint project between the Hummer
Limo Division and Segway Incorporated. The resulting hybrid is a free-wheeling coach
powered by an independent electric motorized device (see image
below).
Looking
like a train that lost its locomotive, this limo
can carry 40 passengers; unfortunately, 30 of them are required to give
it a push-start. The top speed is about 6 mph, similar to that of the
first Hummer model, the H1. The manufacturer, however, points out that
the vehicle can reach
much higher speeds if dropped off a high cliff.
In addition,
the HumWay features
increased privacy for the passengers, as the driver remains outside the
car, making it the Limo of choice for the members of the US Pot Party.
The third
and most exciting of the new models is the H3-2, which comes equipped
with three wheel drive and two surface-to-surface missiles (see image below).
"The
fuel consumption of this model is no better than that of any conventional
truck" Admits Walsh, "However we expect the owners of this
vehicle to be able to fuel all they want and leave without paying -
who's going to stop them?"
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