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the High Gas Prices:
Hummer to Introduce Hybrid Models

In an unpredicted move, Hummer - the car manufacturer notoriously known for specializing in gas guzzlers, has introduced a lineup of three hybrid models, promising to cut on fuel expenses, and to possibly appease its many critics, spearheaded by

The first new model, code named H2-CV,  is based on the Hummer H2, but instead of standard wheels it integrates four units of a previous-generation powertrain, known world-wide as the Citroen 2CV (see image below). 

Besides providing an entire new meaning to the term 4x4, this innovative design enables the hybrid to deliver 40 miles per gallon (about 40 times better than the original H2), thanks to the fact that the vehicle is propelled by the small, efficient motors of the 2CV cars, while the role of the original engine is limited to generating intimidating sound effects.

But according to Hummer's general manager, Martin Walsh, there is more to the new model than just gas savings. "Research has shown", says Walsh, "that most owners of the H2 have an uncontrolled desire to run over smaller vehicles. This innovation provides a harmless outlet, by allowing them to literally run over four smaller vehicles at all times.".

The second hybrid model, dubbed HumWay, is the outcome of a joint project between the Hummer Limo Division and Segway Incorporated. The resulting hybrid is a free-wheeling coach powered by an independent electric motorized device (see image below).

Looking like a train that lost its locomotive, this limo can carry 40 passengers; unfortunately, 30 of them are required to give it a push-start. The top speed is about 6 mph, similar to that of the first Hummer model, the H1. The manufacturer, however, points out that the vehicle can reach much higher speeds if dropped off a high cliff. 

In addition, the HumWay features increased privacy for the passengers, as the driver remains outside the car, making it the Limo of choice for the members of the US Pot Party.

The third and most exciting of the new models is the H3-2, which comes equipped with three wheel drive and two surface-to-surface missiles (see image below).

"The fuel consumption of this model is no better than that of any conventional truck" Admits Walsh, "However we expect the owners of this vehicle to be able to fuel all they want and leave without paying - who's going to stop them?"

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