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Enforcing the 'Patriot Act':
Florida
to Utilize New Anti-Terror Weapons
Joining
the "Patriot Act" effort, the state of
Florida
recently introduced several innovative security measures and
technologies, aimed at preventing
terror attacks in the Sunny
State.
The first
innovation, code-named "FireArm", combines an ordinary crutch with
an automatic assault rifle (see image below). The contraption is capable of
firing 650 rounds per minute, or supporting body weight of up to
250 Lb, however not at the same time.
Although
not likely to take advantage of its maximum effective range of 1200 feet,
senior citizens equipped with this device are expected to deter any
terror threat within their communities. As a side perk, they are
guaranteed a seat in any Chinese restaurant serving an Early Bird buffet.
In
Orlando, the prominent theme parks elected to incorporate new security
measures into the existing infrastructure. Equipping their familiar
characters with combat gear appears to be the popular choice
(see image below).
As
an additional benefit for the parks, the new strategy is expected to cut
down the number of kids attacking the characters in pursuit of their
autographs.
Larger scale anti-terror
deployments, generally referred to as WMD
(Weapons of Mass Defense) are commissioned by the big cities throughout Florida. One of
the most promising technologies, dubbed ‘The Bridge Zapper’, is expected to
avert aerial attacks on downtown sky scrapers (see image below).
Despite
a few glitches, including civilian aircrafts being destroyed, endangered
birds incinerated and an enormous electric bill, the new system proves
to be a huge attraction to tourists as well as local residents, second
only to the Florida Lottery.
Play
the Game: "Bridge Zapper"
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